Well done Corban you have retold a good version of Tane and the Three Kete. I like how you used specific vocabulary like "starvation" and "shocked". They really added to the story. You have tried to use paragraphs too which is great.
Next time you should try to use speech marks for talking and commas to break up your sentences. Also try really hard to make sure you have correct spelling, capital letters and fullstops.
You need to remember to add rich vocabulary and detail - how did Tane feel as he was climbing? What could he see? What did he say? All of these details are important for the reader to help them paint a picture with their mind.
Well done Corban you have retold a good version of Tane and the Three Kete. I like how you used specific vocabulary like "starvation" and "shocked". They really added to the story. You have tried to use paragraphs too which is great.
ReplyDeleteNext time you should try to use speech marks for talking and commas to break up your sentences. Also try really hard to make sure you have correct spelling, capital letters and fullstops.
You need to remember to add rich vocabulary and detail - how did Tane feel as he was climbing? What could he see? What did he say? All of these details are important for the reader to help them paint a picture with their mind.
Nic